Tuesday, December 30, 2008

crumbled leaves

alot of the time i say "lifes good, gods great"
and feel it when i say it... but today..
its almost like i can't say it and mean it.
i hate it because my family doesn't get along,
we can't agree with anything,
seriously my father is the hardest person to get along with..
for all of us.
sometimes i wonder if it is even worth it anymore.
just life in general.

yes we all go through it,
yes we all eal with hard things,
yes life is not easy,
but shouldn't your family be the best
and safest place in the world with people you love...
you know what i say about that?
HAHAHAAAAAAA
my family is like a dead treee..
there is only crumbl;ed leaves underneathe

it almost seems like the only time i ever mess with this is when
i need to complain or gripe or what not
so readers..
sorry about that.
promise i'm not some freak that lives in the shadows.

i don't get along with them.
my dad does nothing but nag, an hound on me and i hate that.
i am my own person and i want to be
who I AM and not what
he wants me to be!
thats stupid.

i'm quitting roodeo because of him..
he doesn't know that.
he thinks i'm just "tired of it"
but honestly its because he makes it not fun for me.
i've told him before and all he does is yell so i'm avoiding a fight.

i will never be tired of rodeo..
i love it, its my passion.
its my therapy..

DREAM
i have a dream.
a big dream.
not something you dream up,
it took time,
my dream is no ordinary dream,
but still a dream.
its not dark,
its not gloomy or scary,
my dream will make a difference.
my dream will help.
its a good dream.
i like this dream,
i want thhis dream,
my dream will come true!

Jenna Marie

2 comments:

Jenn said...

thank you for sharing. I know that I'm not the person to tell you how to be or what to do....I completely don't have that right, but I do want to let you know this...I love you for who you are. I know you guys are still dealing with difficulties and what not. I also know that there will never be a "coming together" for all of you, but this I do know...God is a God of order and control. He is watching and knows your pain and hurts and dreams and desires. Don't give up. Keep on walking, Jenna.

I love you so much and I'm praying for you.

Jenn said...

By the way, if this is the only place you feel like you can vent then who cares if it's all negative..lol. This is your safety zone.